Goals, Dreams, Visions: What Am I Chasing?

A friend of mine asked me, “What do you want?” and  “Why?”

I don’t know.  I have an idea but nothing truly specific.  I spend most of my time dealing with many desires but most of them don’t give me any fulfillment.  Even now I want to write a blog post, study acting, find a new job doing something I’m interested in, read a play, watch a movie, meditate, discover myself/passion, and eat.  Which of those is most important now?  I don’t know.

And I look at the clock and see it ticking away and get stressed that I’m wasting another day.

How do I stop feeling like I’m wasting time and am focused on what I really want?  Maybe I need to find what I want.

What’s my core?  What moves me?  What is my purpose? Where do I want to go? Who do I want to be?  I used to write these questions off as useless but they can be very important.  Lately I’ve been writing to find my core.  Searching my thoughts and coming up with an answer that I really feel hits me deep and I can say, “yes that’s me and that’s who I am and what drives me and what I want”.

The most important thing I’ve done to find answers is to always try whatever it is I want to do.  Always.  I never hold myself back.  If I want to do something I owe it to myself to try it.  It could change my life, lead me to what I want, or if I’m lucky it could be the thing I’ve been looking for.

A teacher told me that we already know everything about ourselves we just have to allow ourselves and listen.  So I keep listening but I haven’t heard anything yet.

What do you do?

Much Love,

Andy

Meditation At A Price

I’ve been really trying to dig deep and find what it is that I want to do in life.  I love meditation and feel it can benefit anyone.  I thought about teaching meditation and helping people one one one but I don’t want to charge people for it.  I feel meditation is a basic human right and everyone should have access to it for free, including any instruction or advice that may be necessary.  That’s why I hate when people offer meditation teaching sessions and charge ridiculous prices.  Asking for donations is one thing, but asking for hundreds or thousands is a terrible thing to do.

What do you think?

If anyone ever has questions about meditation or would like to learn how I do it then please contact me.  It’s free.  And if you’re interested I will help to cut through a lot of the noise surrounding meditation.

Much Love,

Andy

Dealing With Anger When It Takes You Over

I used to have trouble with being angry all the time.  I used to get angry quickly but hold it in and not express it until the anger built up and I exploded.  One day I realized I didn’t want to be angry anymore and decided to change.  Meditation is what helped me.

Using mindfulness I started to sit with my anger instead of feeding the negative feelings associated with it.  For example, if somebody said something hurtful I used to think about why they said that instead of defending myself.  Over time I came to realize that them saying something negative about me is no reason to get angry.  Their opinions and thoughts and feelings are valid and they can think and feel whatever they like.

Of course it wasn’t that alone.  Combined with the fact that I was letting go of my “self” and seeing that the voice that uses the word “I” is just a voice and not “me” as well as being open and accepting of everything, I began to let go of my anger.

If I had to distill my process down to steps it would be:

1) When I become angry I become aware of the feeling as soon as possible.

2) Don’t react to the anger or let it push me to action right away.  Just be aware of any feelings in my body and the thoughts that are arising.

Optional:

3) Question the thoughts that are making me angry.  For example, if I’m mad at someone because they ditched me when we made plans did that person actually do something wrong?  Do I need them to apologize or make up for it?  For me the answer is no, absolutely not.  People may do as they please.  I may not make plans with them again, but I choose not to be angry because they don’t have to change to please me.  They can be however they like.

These steps need to be repeated over and over again until one day you may find that the things that used to drive you crazy become amusing.

I hope this post is clear.  It’s not really one thing in particular but a combination of love, acceptance, and awareness that I’ve been working on for years very slowly.  I’m not saying I don’t want to feel angry, I just don’t want anger to overtake me and cloud my judgement or cause me to hurt somebody.  Anger can be useful if I know how to use it.

The first step is realizing that you don’t have to be angry.  Anger doesn’t have to be the solution to a problem.  You don’t need anger to protect you all the time.  You’d be surprised how much stronger kindness is.

What do you think?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Once again thank you very much for taking the time to read my posts.  I don’t know if these are useful or boring but I’m sharing my path and experiences because maybe it will help someone.

Much Love,

Andy

Taking Responsibility

I believe it’s important for me to take responsibility for my life.

I can’t just sit back and watch it go by.

I can’t just complain without trying to make things better.

I can’t feel/think one way and do the opposite.

I can’t limit myself.

I can’t blame others.

I can’t be lazy.

I can’t make excuses.

I have to do the things that matter to me at whatever cost.  Sacrifices have to be made. Otherwise I will look back with regret and possibly end up depressed and hate myself for not doing what I “should” have done.

I have to live by “following my heart” as corny as that sounds.  But it really does mean something to me.

What about you?  How do you live?

 

Much Love,

Andy

Sacrifice

A friend of mine recently decided to change careers but doesn’t want to sacrifice his lifestyle to pursue it.  I don’t believe this is a good way to live at all.

Getting Out of Your Own Way

What does it even mean to get out of my own way?

To stop letting my “self” distract me from what I’m trying to do.  These distractions are thoughts or actions that don’t help and can hinder what I’m trying to do.

How do I get out of my own way?

By ONLY focusing on what your doing.

This can apply to anything in my life and ties in with the realization that everything is already perfect.

I already am a success I just have to realize it.

I already have everything I want I just have to realize it.

I already am happy I just have to realize it.

And I realize these things by getting out of my own way and being happy with my efforts, being content with what I have and being in the moment.

It might be hard to understand but that’s just because you’re getting in your own way.  Don’t try to intellectualize it.  Just feel it.  Be it.

I believe we’re already enlightened, we just have to get out of our own way.  Which is another way of saying, “get rid of the ego”.  See yourself for who you are, accept what you see, and live as you choose.

If you have any questions about it let me know.

Much Love,

Andy

Stuck on Repeat

I’ve found in my life I tend to make the same mistakes over and over again and change happens very slowly.  I decide to do something and then end up not doing it.  I say I’m going to start waking up early but find myself going back to sleep after my alarm goes off.  I decide to read a chapter of a book every day but end up skipping a few days.  I decide to plan every day then get caught up in the moment.  This has happened a lot in my life and continues to happen.

Just look at my last article.   I said I would write a post a week and it’s been 8 days!

Change for me happens very slowly.  But it always happens, eventually.

It’s great to make changes but don’t expect them to happen overnight.

Having reminders are great.  Write to yourself.  Talk to yourself.  Let others know about the changes you are making.  Leave notes for yourself.

Make it a priority or don’t change at all.

 

For additional inspiration:

Zen Habits

 

Much Love,

Andy

 

 

Coming Back

I know it’s been a while since writing.  I’ve been really busy and having trouble thinking of what to write about.  So I’m turning to you, my followers and readers.  What would you like me to offer guidance on?  Is there anything you’d like me to write about?

Do you need help with meditation?

Any questions about depression or mental health?

Advice on an issue in your life?

Really I’m open to almost anything even if it has nothing to do with the above.  I would just like to be able to serve someone and help them in whatever way possible.

And I’d like to be writing more consistently.  I’m going to try to write one post a week and hold me to it!

Please leave a comment or use the Contact Me page to send me a message.

Once again, thank you for taking time out of your day to read this and I really hope that you write back.

 

Much Love,

Andy

Feelings: The Struggle Inside

Image Courtesy of Unsplash.com

 

Looking back on my life I see how often I have tried to change my emotions.  I’ve either wanted emotions to come to me or for them to go away.  And one thing I’ve realized in my life is that my emotions come and go on their own.  Happiness has turned into depression and sadness into joy all on its own.

How to live…

With love amongst those who hate.

With acceptance amongst those who reject.

With kindness against those who are angry.

With patience amongst those who are restless.

With presence amongst those who are mindless.

With happiness amongst those who are unhappy.

With courage amongst those who are hiding.

With peace amongst those who are restless.

With freedom amongst those who are trapped.

With meditation amongst those who follow themselves.

Without ego amongst those who believe in an “I”.

With commitment amongst those who quit.

With empathy amongst everything that turns its back on you.

With open arms amongst everything that hurt you.

How do you live?

What would you add to the list?

What would you take away?

What would you change?